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- Chief Bender - Best breaking ball in the league
- Coco Crisp - Our favorite cereal
- Milton Bradley - Baseball is his night job, board games are his specialty
- Bob Walk - Not a good idea to let him pitch with the bases juiced
- Grant Balfour - Struggles with his control
- Joshua Outman - The man you want on the mound when you really need an out
- Lincoln Holdzkom - Specializes in holding runners on
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